Why so hard !?

Why is it that everything in my life requires me to make a change that I dont want in my life? Everything is a decision to make something somehow a little worse it seems. Life is so hard for me... I cant seem to make anyone happy, not even myself. It's not fair. I thought Nate would have been a good idea for me, but I left out the little thing, the age difference. Nobody in my family agreed with it... they wouldnt give him a chance, instead they just force me to stay away from everything that I want to do. I couldnt even go to the simple Memorial Day Parade down the street... because it would give me the chance to see Nate. I cant go to the store anymore because there is that slight chance that Nate just might be there. Why cant I be happy? Why cant I have a life of my own!? It feels like my life is meant to be controlled by the people around me! I am so sick and tired of it. I have given up so much to make others happy... and the last thing I've given up recently is Nate. I wont give up anymore. I refuse to. As soon as I can and as soon as I have the money, I am out of here. I dont want to live anywhere's near people who think that they can just walk all over me. I am sick of it. My sister and brother-in-law think they can walk on me too! They think that they are going to tell me how to live my life, lecture me whenever I am not doing something they want me doing... if they think that i am staying there with them past next summer they are wrong. I want to be gone and on with my life by next summer. I want a fresh start, new people, new life.... a better life. I cant do that in NY... I dont even want to start a new life in the USA... I want out. If I can generate a plan and stick with it, with like exactly how I am gonna do it, I wanna be out of the country in a little over a year. I realize how expensive It is going to be... I realize im going to be leaving my friends behind... and family.. but I need this. I think that this is what I need to do... Honestly i think that it's the only way im going to get a break from everything here... a permanent one. I cant live my life here. I have too many obsticles holding me back and I gotta get rid of them. I was thinking England or around that area... I was considering college somewhere up there, get a job on campus... living in a dorm and get the hang of how things run down there... then eventually get a place of my own. I know its risky.. but im up for it. Where there's a will there's a way right? This is something I want for myself, and this i WONT  give up.