I feel like such an asshole...

I called Nathan just now to break up with him and I told him the truth, my parents do not like him, dont want him at my house, i cant leave my house... so really there's no point in continuing a relationship since we cant see eachother. He told me that he wanted me to calm down a bit and think it over, that he'd wait for me as long as it takes to get out of this house and out of my sisters house. He said he really loved me and didnt want anybody else in his life. He didnt care what my family thought... but it matters to me. I want my parents approval so I can stop hearing it from them! This is so fucking hard for me to do when he tries to tell me to re-think it over... I just wanted to get it done and over with so I could get on with things... but he makes it so hard. God i feel like such an asshole... I told him i'd wait things out but really I cant do that. I agreed to think it over... but im not going to. I've decided that he has to find someone better, someone who's parents do like him... it's not fair to him if he comes into a family where the parents dont like him... its not how it should be. It kills me inside because I know that he really does want their approval, even though he says he doesnt care what they think... Its making this so much harder on me... I just want my life back to normal. I dont want to be locked up inside this house till graduation... thats still weeks away and I have so many people I need to visit before I move... some that cant come to my grad party... and it would just kill me if i couldnt see them once before I left.

God why does everything have to be so fucking hard?! What the hell did i do to deserve this kind of pain!!! I am so sick of this bullshit! I Want it all to just STOP!