If it doesn't feel like home, It's not. :(
It's pretty sad that I cant keep a single thing for myself. My sister took my cd player from me and decided she's mangle it to bits. The only things that work on it now are my tape deck and radio. Goodbye to the CD Player Meaning of it.
She completely broke the cd player part. It's lid has been almost entirely ripped off, the silver face plating - no longer. Pisses me off. This isnt the first time she's done this to a cd player...
I'm stuck using my computer's cd player now... really sucks. I do love my computer's cd player, but I was also happy with my other one.
I've been listening to old cd's that I've gotten over the years... at the moment, im listening to the Youngstown single for Sugar. I feel that the cd's deserved a good listening to. Or maybe I've just been bored.
Been packing up some more of my room. Stacey is coming down this weekend. Today actually. Yay. :( She's gonna be taking a whole ton more of my stuff back to my new "home". I dont know that I can truly call her house my new home. It doesnt feel like it to me. It's just another place to go to save myself from the things I am so sick of enduring here at this house. I dont know. I havent really ever felt like I've had a home... I laugh at myself whenever someone ask's me what I've done that day... because I always just say, Just been sitting around at home...
If it doesnt feel like home, it's not. I feel like I am on a search to really find home. I just want that feeling of comfort and ease. You know, like how you are when your just swarmed with people who absolutly love you? I dont feel that here. I know that Stacey and Gary and my friends all love me, but I dont feel right. I rarely ever get that feeling anymore. The only real time I've felt that way was back when I was with Chris.
That's something else I keep thinking about. What would my life have been like had he not left me? I'd be living off in another state, married... would I have been happy? I know that for nearly six months of my life I had never been so happy. Everything was planned out, my future, everything. I was going to be married in July, we were going to move to Georgia, and everything seemed just perfect... but really it wasnt. I didnt see a single thing wrong, I was so blind. I cant believe that. He made me feel like a fool.
Guess this is all for the better eh? Doesnt feel like it though. All I really want in life anymore is just to go out, find where I belong, find the right guy for me and settle down. I dont need money or anything to make me happy. Just... want to have peace. I dont know what's going on anymore. I have a feeling what I am looking for anymore isn't going to be here where I am now. It's somewhere else. I just wished I knew where. God im so lost...
She completely broke the cd player part. It's lid has been almost entirely ripped off, the silver face plating - no longer. Pisses me off. This isnt the first time she's done this to a cd player...
I'm stuck using my computer's cd player now... really sucks. I do love my computer's cd player, but I was also happy with my other one.
I've been listening to old cd's that I've gotten over the years... at the moment, im listening to the Youngstown single for Sugar. I feel that the cd's deserved a good listening to. Or maybe I've just been bored.
Been packing up some more of my room. Stacey is coming down this weekend. Today actually. Yay. :( She's gonna be taking a whole ton more of my stuff back to my new "home". I dont know that I can truly call her house my new home. It doesnt feel like it to me. It's just another place to go to save myself from the things I am so sick of enduring here at this house. I dont know. I havent really ever felt like I've had a home... I laugh at myself whenever someone ask's me what I've done that day... because I always just say, Just been sitting around at home...
If it doesnt feel like home, it's not. I feel like I am on a search to really find home. I just want that feeling of comfort and ease. You know, like how you are when your just swarmed with people who absolutly love you? I dont feel that here. I know that Stacey and Gary and my friends all love me, but I dont feel right. I rarely ever get that feeling anymore. The only real time I've felt that way was back when I was with Chris.
That's something else I keep thinking about. What would my life have been like had he not left me? I'd be living off in another state, married... would I have been happy? I know that for nearly six months of my life I had never been so happy. Everything was planned out, my future, everything. I was going to be married in July, we were going to move to Georgia, and everything seemed just perfect... but really it wasnt. I didnt see a single thing wrong, I was so blind. I cant believe that. He made me feel like a fool.
Guess this is all for the better eh? Doesnt feel like it though. All I really want in life anymore is just to go out, find where I belong, find the right guy for me and settle down. I dont need money or anything to make me happy. Just... want to have peace. I dont know what's going on anymore. I have a feeling what I am looking for anymore isn't going to be here where I am now. It's somewhere else. I just wished I knew where. God im so lost...
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