Best Forward EVER
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.
> > > > >
> > > > > Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" e-mail to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you're going to forward something, at least
> > > > send me something
> > > > > mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to
> > > > 50 of your closest
> > > > > friends,
> > > > > and this poor, wretched excuse for a human
> > > being
> > > > will somehow receive a
> > > > > nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
> > > about
> > > > 90 times. I don't
> > > > > fucking
> > > > > care. Show a little intelligence and think
> > > about
> > > > what you're actually
> > > > > contributing to by sending out forwards.
> > > Chances
> > > > are it's your own
> > > > > unpopularity.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 1:
> > > > >
> > > > > (scroll down)
> > > > >
> > > > > Make a wish!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > No, really, go on and make one!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Please, they'll never go out with you!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Wish something else!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Not that, you pervert!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Is your finger getting tired yet?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > STOP!!!!
> > > > > Wasn't that fun? :)
> > > > >
> > > > > Hope you made a great wish :)
> > > > > Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
> > > > do. First of all, if
> > > > > you don't send this to 5096 people in the next
> > > 5
> > > > seconds, you will be
> > > > > raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high
> > > > building into a pile of
> > > > > manure. It's
> > > > > true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> > > > those fake ones, THIS one
> > > > > is
> > > > > TRUE!!
> > > > > Really!!! Here's how it goes:
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be
> > > pissed
> > > > off at you for
> > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
> > > > pissed off at you for
> > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be
> > > > pissed off at you
> > > > > for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
> > > > form a plot on your
> > > > >life.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
> > > be
> > > > pissed off at you
> > > > > for sending them a stupid chain letter and will
> > > > napalm your house.
> > > > > Thanks!!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Good Luck!!!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 2
> > > > >
> > > > > Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
> > > You
> > > > see, there is a
> > > > > starving
> > > > > little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has
> > > no
> > > > arms, no legs, no
> > > > > parents,
> > > > > and no goats. This little boy's life could be
> > > > saved, because for every
> > > > > time
> > > > > you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to
> > > the
> > > > Little Starving
> > > > >Legless
> > > > > Armless Goatless Boy from
> > > Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> > > > Fund. Oh, and
> > > > >remember,
> > > > > we have absolutely no way of counting the
> > > e-mails
> > > > sent and this is all
> > > > > a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach
> > > out.
> > > > Send this to 5
> > > > > people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
> > > reminder
> > > > - if you accidentally
> > > > > send this
> > > > > to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
> > > > >
> > > > > Thanks again!!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 3
> > > > >
> > > > > Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
> > > > existence since 1897. This
> > > > > is absolutely incredible because there was no
> > > > e-mail then and probably
> > > > > not as many sad pricks with nothing better to
> > > do.
> > > > So this is how it
> > > > > works:
> > > > > Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
> > > > minutes or something
> > > > > horrible
> > > > > will happen to you like:
> > > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #1
> > > > > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
> > > > Saturday. She had
> > > > > recently received this letter and ignored it.
> > > She
> > > > then tripped in a
> > > > >crack
> > > > > in
> > > > > the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
> > > > down a drainpipe in a
> > > > > flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
> > > > Waterfall. Not only did she
> > > > > smell
> > > > > nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #2
> > > > > Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
> > > letter
> > > > in his mail and
> > > > > ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car
> > > > and so was his boyfriend
> > > > > (hey, some people swing that way). They both
> > > died
> > > > and went to hell and
> > > > > were
> > > > > cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
> > > > eternity. This Could Happen
> > > > > To
> > > > > You Too!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley
> > > and
> > > > Bip. Just send this
> > > > > letter to all of your loser friends, and
> > > > everything will be okay.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 4:
> > > > > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
> > > > Send it to every one
> > > > > of your friends.
> > > > >
> > > > > Friends
> > > > > A friend is someone who is always at your side.
> > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > you
> > > > stink of shit,
> > > > > and your breath smells like you've been eating
> > > > cat food,
> > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > > you're as ugly as a
> > > > > hat full of assholes,
> > > > > A friend is someone who cleans up for you after
> > > > you've soiled yourself,
> > > > > A friend is someone who stays with you all
> > > night
> > > > while you cry about
> > > > > your sad, sad life,
> > > > > A friend is someone who pretends they like you
> > > > when they really
> > > > > think you should be raped by mad goats, then
> > > > thrown to vicious dogs,
> > > > > A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet,
> > > > vacuums and then gets
> > > > > the check and leaves and doesn't speak much
> > > > English...-no, sorry that's
> > > > > the cleaning lady,
> > > > > A friend is not someone who sends you chain
> > > > letters because he wants
> > > > > his wish of being rich to come true.
> > > > >
> > > > > Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
> > > have
> > > > sex ever again.
> > > > >
> > > > > The point being?
> > > > > If you get some chain letter that's threatening
> > > > to leave you
> > > > > shagless or lckless for the rest of your life,
> > > > delete it. If it's funny,
> > > > > send
> > > > > it on.
> > > > > Don't piss people off by making them feel
> > > guilty
> > > > about a leper in
> > > > > Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
> > > dead
> > > > elephant for 27 years,
> > > > > whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter
> > > he'll
> > > > receive
> > > > > if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end
> > > up
> > > > like Miranda. Right?
> > > > >
> > > > > Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise
> > > > you'll find all your
> > > > > panties or shorts missing tomorrow morning. >>
> > > > >
> > > > > Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" e-mail to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you're going to forward something, at least
> > > > send me something
> > > > > mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to
> > > > 50 of your closest
> > > > > friends,
> > > > > and this poor, wretched excuse for a human
> > > being
> > > > will somehow receive a
> > > > > nickel from some omniscient being" forwards
> > > about
> > > > 90 times. I don't
> > > > > fucking
> > > > > care. Show a little intelligence and think
> > > about
> > > > what you're actually
> > > > > contributing to by sending out forwards.
> > > Chances
> > > > are it's your own
> > > > > unpopularity.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 1:
> > > > >
> > > > > (scroll down)
> > > > >
> > > > > Make a wish!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > No, really, go on and make one!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Please, they'll never go out with you!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Wish something else!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Not that, you pervert!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Is your finger getting tired yet?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > STOP!!!!
> > > > > Wasn't that fun? :)
> > > > >
> > > > > Hope you made a great wish :)
> > > > > Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
> > > > do. First of all, if
> > > > > you don't send this to 5096 people in the next
> > > 5
> > > > seconds, you will be
> > > > > raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high
> > > > building into a pile of
> > > > > manure. It's
> > > > > true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> > > > those fake ones, THIS one
> > > > > is
> > > > > TRUE!!
> > > > > Really!!! Here's how it goes:
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be
> > > pissed
> > > > off at you for
> > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
> > > > pissed off at you for
> > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be
> > > > pissed off at you
> > > > > for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
> > > > form a plot on your
> > > > >life.
> > > > >
> > > > > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
> > > be
> > > > pissed off at you
> > > > > for sending them a stupid chain letter and will
> > > > napalm your house.
> > > > > Thanks!!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Good Luck!!!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 2
> > > > >
> > > > > Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
> > > You
> > > > see, there is a
> > > > > starving
> > > > > little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has
> > > no
> > > > arms, no legs, no
> > > > > parents,
> > > > > and no goats. This little boy's life could be
> > > > saved, because for every
> > > > > time
> > > > > you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to
> > > the
> > > > Little Starving
> > > > >Legless
> > > > > Armless Goatless Boy from
> > > Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> > > > Fund. Oh, and
> > > > >remember,
> > > > > we have absolutely no way of counting the
> > > e-mails
> > > > sent and this is all
> > > > > a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach
> > > out.
> > > > Send this to 5
> > > > > people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
> > > reminder
> > > > - if you accidentally
> > > > > send this
> > > > > to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
> > > > >
> > > > > Thanks again!!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 3
> > > > >
> > > > > Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
> > > > existence since 1897. This
> > > > > is absolutely incredible because there was no
> > > > e-mail then and probably
> > > > > not as many sad pricks with nothing better to
> > > do.
> > > > So this is how it
> > > > > works:
> > > > > Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
> > > > minutes or something
> > > > > horrible
> > > > > will happen to you like:
> > > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #1
> > > > > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
> > > > Saturday. She had
> > > > > recently received this letter and ignored it.
> > > She
> > > > then tripped in a
> > > > >crack
> > > > > in
> > > > > the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
> > > > down a drainpipe in a
> > > > > flood of poopie, and went flying out over a
> > > > Waterfall. Not only did she
> > > > > smell
> > > > > nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #2
> > > > > Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
> > > letter
> > > > in his mail and
> > > > > ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car
> > > > and so was his boyfriend
> > > > > (hey, some people swing that way). They both
> > > died
> > > > and went to hell and
> > > > > were
> > > > > cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
> > > > eternity. This Could Happen
> > > > > To
> > > > > You Too!!!
> > > > >
> > > > > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley
> > > and
> > > > Bip. Just send this
> > > > > letter to all of your loser friends, and
> > > > everything will be okay.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Chain Letter Type 4:
> > > > > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
> > > > Send it to every one
> > > > > of your friends.
> > > > >
> > > > > Friends
> > > > > A friend is someone who is always at your side.
> > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > you
> > > > stink of shit,
> > > > > and your breath smells like you've been eating
> > > > cat food,
> > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > > you're as ugly as a
> > > > > hat full of assholes,
> > > > > A friend is someone who cleans up for you after
> > > > you've soiled yourself,
> > > > > A friend is someone who stays with you all
> > > night
> > > > while you cry about
> > > > > your sad, sad life,
> > > > > A friend is someone who pretends they like you
> > > > when they really
> > > > > think you should be raped by mad goats, then
> > > > thrown to vicious dogs,
> > > > > A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet,
> > > > vacuums and then gets
> > > > > the check and leaves and doesn't speak much
> > > > English...-no, sorry that's
> > > > > the cleaning lady,
> > > > > A friend is not someone who sends you chain
> > > > letters because he wants
> > > > > his wish of being rich to come true.
> > > > >
> > > > > Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
> > > have
> > > > sex ever again.
> > > > >
> > > > > The point being?
> > > > > If you get some chain letter that's threatening
> > > > to leave you
> > > > > shagless or lckless for the rest of your life,
> > > > delete it. If it's funny,
> > > > > send
> > > > > it on.
> > > > > Don't piss people off by making them feel
> > > guilty
> > > > about a leper in
> > > > > Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
> > > dead
> > > > elephant for 27 years,
> > > > > whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter
> > > he'll
> > > > receive
> > > > > if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end
> > > up
> > > > like Miranda. Right?
> > > > >
> > > > > Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise
> > > > you'll find all your
> > > > > panties or shorts missing tomorrow morning. >>
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bbhotbubbles on
|
Thats awsum but who eva rote this write from the start seems to be loving MAD F**KING GOATS |
