*sighs*
I got into a fight with my sister tonight. We both broke down real bad. Pretty much we've been complete bitches to each other for a while, both noticing our anger towards one another, and we both talked about everything thats been bugging us. She tries too hard to make me happy, and that bothers me. No matter what anyone does right now at this point, will make me happy, and I tried to explain that to her through my view, but it just doesn't work. I didn't say much to her that she understood, I tried to get all my feelings out so she understood but it didn't work. My feelings are better left inside me anyway I think. Or best for a diary.
She's upset because I was doing stuff in the house, cleaning and everything, and after we all got into a fight because of Rent, I quit doing anything... and now that I have a full-time job, I get home in the afternoon and check mail, catch up with friends, get my laundry done, and go hang out with Debbie. It's like, they cant do anything when they get home because they both work as well, so why should I have to do everything? And that's how I felt too when I was cleaning for them... I felt like I was the one doing all the work. I didn't like it. So when I started slacking a bit, Gary started picking up on some of the work. I figured that was okay, and so yeah. I can understand now that I'm not doing anything at all in their house, that they'd be a bit upset, since I'm not even paying them rent. So I can do something around here, and I plan to now that we've talked a bit more.
My sister has so many problems right now, she's dealing with emotions inside her and shit, and I knew that before she told me, and I know that there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. But when she keeps it all inside her, she doesn't even have a diary, she lashes out at me and Gary, which is unfair. I told her that when I did try to talk to her, she'd criticize me and just hurt my feelings. 'Cause that's what our fighting turned into, was that I never talk to her or Gary anymore. So that's what I told her, and she got even more upset, and It's like, she wants the truth from me doesn't she? So there it is. She criticized the hell out of me soooo much, and I'm supposed to just tolerate it, no matter if my feelings were hurt? She says so much to me and I don't like to disappoint people, but I know that If I told her half the shit that I've done, that she'd be so disappointed in me that I dunno what she'd do.
She looks down on anyone who has had a child or has been pregnant at or before 16 years old, and i have few friends that actually have had that happen to them. It's like, it's not because they're bad people, or anything like that, They've experienced things and they realize now what they've done, they either regret it or they deal with it. Just because a girl has a child at 16 years old doesn't mean she's a whore. And that's basically all my sister has to say about girls like that. They're whores. I don't agree.
She claims that girls who've slept with more than one guy are dumb and also a whore. She'd be very happy to see how many I've been with... my number is 6 but I've learned lessons from every time. I'm more careful now, and I can see that. It's like, I wont tell her half the shit I've done because she'd be pissed at me, and disappointed... and I don't wanna know what she'd think of me when she found out. Only close friends and whoever reads this knows how many men i've been with. I'm not keeping it a secret from everyone, just quiet from who I'm related to.
I'm so frustrated... She thinks im unhappy with every single thing she does, and it's not that im unhappy with what she's doing, I really appreciate a lot of things she does for me, and gary too, but im just unhappy at where I am in life and dont know what to do about it just yet. I'm in the process of figuring it out, getting my life to the way I want... but It's gonna take me some time. I cant snap my fingers and have my whole life put up on a board for me to sort out and arrange. It cant happen like that. I just wanna take it one day at a time.
Trying to tell her that is like talking to a wall, it's just one big blank.
There was a guy at the bowling alley, and for the past few weeks we been eying each other from across the alley. Little by little we kinda... signal that we noticed each other... if you know what I'm saying. I've never been like that with anyone, like... that shy... 'cause we'd just glance at each other a bit the whole few hours we're there, and it's kinda funny. But this week I was debating on weather or not to make a move, and I had written my cell phone number on a napkin and was thinking about giving it to him, how to do it, you know, like what techniques to use and stuff. Kinda childish really. But... im just really... nervous about it. SO I went to use the bathroom and my sister noticed the napkin laying under my purse. She took it and handed it to Gary's mom, she went and gave it to him. I got back and was searching for it like there was five minutes left in the world. Noticed him looking at me... saw him put it in his wallet... and I turned SO RED! I don't think I've ever been so embarassed in my entire life. So now im just waiting to see if he's interested and will call. Some reason though, I don't think he's going to.
She's upset because I was doing stuff in the house, cleaning and everything, and after we all got into a fight because of Rent, I quit doing anything... and now that I have a full-time job, I get home in the afternoon and check mail, catch up with friends, get my laundry done, and go hang out with Debbie. It's like, they cant do anything when they get home because they both work as well, so why should I have to do everything? And that's how I felt too when I was cleaning for them... I felt like I was the one doing all the work. I didn't like it. So when I started slacking a bit, Gary started picking up on some of the work. I figured that was okay, and so yeah. I can understand now that I'm not doing anything at all in their house, that they'd be a bit upset, since I'm not even paying them rent. So I can do something around here, and I plan to now that we've talked a bit more.
My sister has so many problems right now, she's dealing with emotions inside her and shit, and I knew that before she told me, and I know that there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. But when she keeps it all inside her, she doesn't even have a diary, she lashes out at me and Gary, which is unfair. I told her that when I did try to talk to her, she'd criticize me and just hurt my feelings. 'Cause that's what our fighting turned into, was that I never talk to her or Gary anymore. So that's what I told her, and she got even more upset, and It's like, she wants the truth from me doesn't she? So there it is. She criticized the hell out of me soooo much, and I'm supposed to just tolerate it, no matter if my feelings were hurt? She says so much to me and I don't like to disappoint people, but I know that If I told her half the shit that I've done, that she'd be so disappointed in me that I dunno what she'd do.
She looks down on anyone who has had a child or has been pregnant at or before 16 years old, and i have few friends that actually have had that happen to them. It's like, it's not because they're bad people, or anything like that, They've experienced things and they realize now what they've done, they either regret it or they deal with it. Just because a girl has a child at 16 years old doesn't mean she's a whore. And that's basically all my sister has to say about girls like that. They're whores. I don't agree.
She claims that girls who've slept with more than one guy are dumb and also a whore. She'd be very happy to see how many I've been with... my number is 6 but I've learned lessons from every time. I'm more careful now, and I can see that. It's like, I wont tell her half the shit I've done because she'd be pissed at me, and disappointed... and I don't wanna know what she'd think of me when she found out. Only close friends and whoever reads this knows how many men i've been with. I'm not keeping it a secret from everyone, just quiet from who I'm related to.
I'm so frustrated... She thinks im unhappy with every single thing she does, and it's not that im unhappy with what she's doing, I really appreciate a lot of things she does for me, and gary too, but im just unhappy at where I am in life and dont know what to do about it just yet. I'm in the process of figuring it out, getting my life to the way I want... but It's gonna take me some time. I cant snap my fingers and have my whole life put up on a board for me to sort out and arrange. It cant happen like that. I just wanna take it one day at a time.
Trying to tell her that is like talking to a wall, it's just one big blank.
There was a guy at the bowling alley, and for the past few weeks we been eying each other from across the alley. Little by little we kinda... signal that we noticed each other... if you know what I'm saying. I've never been like that with anyone, like... that shy... 'cause we'd just glance at each other a bit the whole few hours we're there, and it's kinda funny. But this week I was debating on weather or not to make a move, and I had written my cell phone number on a napkin and was thinking about giving it to him, how to do it, you know, like what techniques to use and stuff. Kinda childish really. But... im just really... nervous about it. SO I went to use the bathroom and my sister noticed the napkin laying under my purse. She took it and handed it to Gary's mom, she went and gave it to him. I got back and was searching for it like there was five minutes left in the world. Noticed him looking at me... saw him put it in his wallet... and I turned SO RED! I don't think I've ever been so embarassed in my entire life. So now im just waiting to see if he's interested and will call. Some reason though, I don't think he's going to.
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