today...
Okay...
Holidays are coming up fast...
AND IM DONE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING FINALLY!!
I hated trying to find cool things to buy for everyone, this is the first year that I've bought EVERYTHING on my own for everyone, and it cost me up to I'd say about $200.00 +/-. CraZIE!
I have to admit, things with me and my boyfriend arent going so well... I really really liked him... and after a while... i seen him soo angry and seen him ignore me a lot, hes really clingy other times, hes a showoff, he thinks sooo much of himself (full of himself at times!), its just turning me off... I've found myself not interested for a few weeks now... :s thats REALLY BAD! I dont know what I should do, I've tried to not hang out with him so much to get myself to miss him a bit but i dont... and he and i cant help but get into arguments CONSTANTLY. Obviously thats not a good sign... im debating weather to keep dragging this out or not, I know where its going in our relationship... but I do care about him and dont want to hurt him. I just dont see him like I used to... :(
*sighs* what to do...
Geeeeeze.... been a while...
Okay, so not a whole lot has happened since my last login here. I been busy busy busy!! Between the boyfriend, work, christmas shopping and home... ive got like no time anymore.
Im supposed to be getting a new cell this month, im kinda going in on a plan with my sister, but idk how well its gonna work. Shes gonna be getting a new contract from Cingular, and Im gonna take over her old Verizon contract. Im gonna get the phone i want, pay her for that, and for the plan each month so that she doesnt get charged with the termination fee... cos that would just suck for her lol. SO its beneficial in both ways, we both get new phones... and i dont have to pay for $100 worth of minutes each month! Woo!
DESEREA! gurly! lol... y u gotta put "The Destroyer!" on the envalopes when you send me stuff??? then write on the other side for the world to see?!??! lol.. its funny! dont get me wrong, but whats up with it... i was only joking at first lol!!
I been getting things organized lately, my FAFSA forms and everything, im not sure but i think i just might go to college... im sick of this life i have... i want more you know? There is so much out there for me, but i dont have anyone or anything to really encourage me... it really sucks living with people who discourage you at every given chance...
Like, I can do online courses for the college in Boston i want, and eventually, i can go there maybe. But not right now, not when i have a job thats gonna give me a small raise in january (its a raise! whatever lol!) and not when I have a boyfriend, but maybe it would be for the best at the moment to be gone and get out on my own for a bit.... i dunno... im confused and still debating things.
Well, thats all the update i can possibly give right now, though there is more but i cant think right today!!
Laters everyone!
LOL DESEREA!!!
When you sent out that letter, I think the postman had been questioning who I am hehe.
Grandma
I guess shes losing weight like crazy, not eating and been in and out of the hospital... not good... someone said that if she didnt start eating soon then they'd have to take her to the hospital so that she gets a feeding tube inserted...
We ( me, mom, dad, Stacey, Gary, Greg) are gonna be visiting her tomorrow... im worried... she told someone in the family that the next visit to the hospital she takes, she said she doesnt think that shes coming back.
People know when it's their time right?
At least, that's what i've always heard.Rather good weekend...
The weekend started out friday, he showed up at my house in the clothes we first met in, and with a single white rose!!! We had gotten into a big fight thursday night and hadnt talked all day friday... and he told me when he showed up how sorry he was for making me cry and for fighting with me... he is so sweet!! :)
He bought me chinese for dinner that night,
Then saturday morning he cooked a big breakfast : eggs, bacon, toast and home fries... :)
He is... amazing. :) <333333
:s tired...
It has been... one long day... so far.
Okay so update on me... lol. Since i last wrote a blog entery, I have a few updates.
So work is going okay, I got stuck in dining room the other day wich...sucked. I dont like to clean off tables, but hey, a job's a job. No major complaints other than that. Work has been going well, im doing my job okay it seems and im making friends. Kellie is a real cool person who I look forward to seeing at work each day, she's so nice! It turns out she's 17 as well, a drop-out and lives with her 21 yr old boyfriend... yay for her. I guess shes gonna get her GED... but im not sure, i could have misheard her.
Things at the house with my sister and brother-in-law couldnt be more suckier. Stacey has asked that I pay her rent. She didnt say how much yet but I did tell her that since she wants me to pay her rent, im not doing her cleaning anymore. I will do my laundry and things I need to do, but as for her and Gary, they are now on their own. :) One less problem for me.
I've been scoping out apartments...
A few of them are really nice, but i need someone to move in with me to help pay rent. I saw one for about $425/month and it includes utilities... which sounds like a good deal to me, but it was a 1 bedroom place... because i wasnt thinking about 2 people. ehhh i duno i know that Ron wants to get out of his moms house, hes going nuts there... maybe it wouldnt be such a terrible idea to share an apartment with him??? :s Though I can see the reasons why I shouldnt share one with him... seeing as how he and I have only been dating close to 2 months now... I guess it's something that we need more time to think about. I know that he's mentioned getting an apartment with me...
Ummm... Yesterday was halloween... my favourite holoday... and also... DESEREA'S BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DESEREA!!!
so... i guess that's all i got for now... write soon!! BYE EVERYONE!
In the end, it's all you!!
I was talking to a friend of mine today, he was telling me about how he doesnt think that he could handle a relationship while he's in his studies right now. I agreed with him, because he is concentrating real hard on getting his diplomas and everything he has set for him, goals and things. He was doubting it though, because his friends were saying that he was crazy since it would take up to 5 years to complete what he was doing. I told him flat out, it's not his friend's choice of what to do with his life, it's his and his only.
Seriously, think about it!
It's not about what your friends or family want you to do. If everyone listened to someone else, they wouldnt be living their own lives -- you'd be walked all over. You need to decide things for yourself, and not have others do it for you. You make your decisions, because in the end of it all, it's what you want -- not them.
2nd day of work and im bored...
Wow.
Peace everyone!ugh... another night...
I got a phone call this morning around 10am, it was Kathy from the museum. She got the situation straightened out finally. I am a Food Host... I... make pizzas.... and subs... :'( dammit. lol. but she told me that my boss would call me about my schedule and tell me when I need to come in for my first day... and... he never freakin called. So 2moz I am gonna have to call in and attempt to get information.
Thas all for now... laters!!
He's watching STRIP POKER and talking to me...
Now he's mad at me, and accusing me of not listening to him and not wanting to talk to him on the phone. he's like "i feel like im talking to myself" yet i know what the hell he's talking about every single time! What the hell!? What am I doing wrong?! Its like apparently im not doing anything right at the moment. What the fuck. Im getting sick of these dumb little games. Idk wot to do anymore.
.
:'(
So I talked to Ron tonight and he brought up the Army National Guard... he asked me what I though about him joining it... and I told him before we were dating that I didnt want anyone who was going to be in the military... So I told him that I didnt like the idea, i dont wanna date anyone who's going to be in the military. I want someone who's here, not gonna be here after a few months and then leaves again for a few more months... It's so stressful. And after what happened with Chris I know that I cant do that again, and he doesnt get it! I told him that If he went, it wouldnt work... i know it wont work.
He says he doesnt want to lose me but he wants a career, but then he's like "I'm Speechless." when I say that I wasted months of my life waiting for someone who ended up lieing and cheating on me... I dont wanna go through something even remotley close to that. I wasnt accusing him of going to be cheating on me, I just said that so he realized what I didnt want happening.
He wants to go for the college program, the same thing Chris wanted to do... and when Chris got done with training and wot not, they decided to ship him off to Germany. I cant do that. I wanna be able to see him often, the nights i spent staying up crying because I missed Chris... I dont want to go through that all again... ron think's its going to be so easy... but it's not. It's so stressful...
He said goodbye on the phone, said he needed to think and that he'd call me back. I dont want to lose him!!
Okies
Im still in training for the job at the museum. So far I've met some cool people, been hanging out a lot with this girl, Amanda. We been partners through the scavanger hunts and wot not. She's pretty cool I guess. There's only like 4 white girls in the whole entire group lol. It's not a bad thing, i think its really cool actually. So, I've got one more training session left, and these are paid!!! Yessss! Thursday I get to have a schedule made up and can start working after that :)
Me and a few friends are thinking about getting an apartment together, I dont know how that's going to work, and I prefer to live alone bkos I dont have to clean up after any slobs then... but that's out of the question obviously. Idk and my sister and brother-in-law are planning to move and have children (he just got a gd raise...) soooo I def. do not wanna move now that I've got a life started out here. Things in my life are starting to actually come around, and I dont wanna do anything that's gonna put a dent in what i've got going.
Things are going rather well with Ron, he and I got over our first real argument, it was about how Im always talking to my friends... who mainly tend to be guys. I understand his side of it and how he's getting all jealous an what not, but he cant tell me to not talk to my friends. We've worked it out, it kinda made us a bit closer too :)
Aaaannnd... thats all i've got atm... so ttu all l8er!! :D
My kitten's lost and alone... god i miss her...
blahhhhhh 2much on my mind
I have my drug test next monday just a half hour before i have training, then the next day i have to go in for training... yay. :)
My sister is doing much better, shes walking around a bit more, but the one bruise on her side is getting worse, shes going to the doctor tomorrow... erm... later today i guess... so if all goes well she's hoping to be back in work by friday. but most likely she\'ll take the whole week, go back in on monday.
im having a few issues... with Ron. I like him, he's a great person... he wants to go into the military.
My sisters mother-in-law called today, im definitly in on the trip. Next summer vacation we\'re (Me, my sister, brother-in-law\'s mother brother and self) going to take a big long train ride to Chicago,IL and from there go thru the southern states, TX and all... we\'re going to california. Were gonna see where I was born, El Centro and where we used to live until i was 3, SanDiego, and then go up north more and go to Disney or whatever\'s up there...it\'ll be fun, then i think we\'re taking northern states back to Chicago, then from Chicago to NY again.
Ehhh thats all i got tonight... will write soon. byes.
accident
Shes very lucky. The car she was driving had a 5 star crash test raiting, and it saved her life, and the guy driving that hit her, he came out okay, he got to drive off. Ford Focus is a gd car to drive I believe now.
It's been forever since I last wrote anything!
Hi!!
So it's been a long time since I last wrote an entery into this blog! Wow. Guess I been busy :sI am not sure what's up with me makin the font all wierd and wot not... im
kinda just in a gd mood i guess... woke up at like 11:40 this morning, turned on
some Tae Bo (to try) and idk... just in somewhat a gd mood.
So... wot's happened since I last been on.... orite, I broke up with Gareth,
went out with a guy, Matt, for a day, had my hopes up for things that
never happened, aaannnndddd went to my first party!!
The party I went to, it was fun, there was drinking stuffs there but I didnt drink --i was bein a gd girl! -- lol okies so i had 2 beers... whatever.. and the guy that threw the party, Ron, I kinda ended up hooking up with. He's a great guy. :) I think my luck is abt to turn around for me. I had a job interview at Strong Museum so that was cool... and then i got a new boyfriend who's not outside the USA and has a great personality. :)
I hope to keep up on blog posts... if Im not posting here, I still post at my xanga sometimes... lol.
Byes everyone! :) Have a goooooood day! :)
Tears are all thats left of me....
I told her today when she came up to my room to yell at me that im really getting sick of her getting pissed at the smallest little things... she just threw it back in my face " you have to constantly talk to your stupid friends! You never want to spend time with me!" Maybe thats because my friends have at least BEEN THERE FOR ME! They've helped me out more than most people in my life, emotionally and mentally! She just tears me apart and it seems as if she enjoys it, every second im down! Its like she feeds on the pain of others.
God... I cant stand this anymore... I need to get away from here.
Heya all!
For now I am just going to be sitting around in a house, pretending to be a servant girl for my Sister and Brother-In-Law... I dont like to feel that I am their servant, but I know that they are using me and there is nothing I can do about it at the moment. I need to find a job... im waiting for school to start back up and then i am sure that I will hear from someone that I've applied at. Hoping... wishing... waiting. That's all i ever do anymore.
Anyone want a dog? Very needy... very annoying (wakes you up in the morning)... Im hoping to give her a new home... Any takers? Fucking dog. -.-
Okay... well thas all i have. Later everyone!
